Development and Trauma: A Guide for Parents

Child Development & Trauma: A Guide for Parents

Infancy (0–12 months)

What to Expect:

• Babies begin to bond with caregivers
• They explore the world through touch and sound
• They start to sit, crawl, and babble

How Trauma Can Affect This Stage:

• Trouble forming secure attachments
• Excessive crying or withdrawal
• Delays in physical or emotional milestones

How Parents Can Help:

• Offer consistent comfort and affection
• Create a calm, predictable environment
• Respond to baby’s cues with warmth

Toddlerhood (1–3 years)

What to Expect:

• Toddlers start walking, talking, and asserting independence
• They may say “no” often and test boundaries

How Trauma Can Affect This Stage:

• Regression (e.g., loss of speech or toilet skills)
• Increased tantrums or fearfulness
• Difficulty separating from caregivers

How Parents Can Help:

• Be patient and reassuring
• Stick to routines for security
• Use gentle discipline and lots of praise

Preschool Age (3–6 years)

What to Expect:

• Children play imaginatively and make friends
• They ask lots of questions and express emotions

How Trauma Can Affect This Stage:

• Nightmares or sleep issues
• Aggressive or withdrawn behavior
• Trouble focusing or following rules

How Parents Can Help:

• Talk about feelings in simple terms
• Encourage play and creativity
• Provide a balance of nurture and structure (learn more about how to implement this with Lindsey!)

School Age (6–12 years)

What to Expect:

• Kids develop friendships and learn new skills
• They begin to understand rules and responsibilities

How Trauma Can Affect This Stage:

• Drop in school performance
• Physical complaints (e.g., headaches, stomachaches, frequent sickness)
• Low self-esteem or social withdrawal

How Parents Can Help:

• Stay involved in school and social life
• Validate their feelings and listen actively
• Seek support if behavior changes significantly and is affecting school and social life

Teen Years (12–18 years)

What to Expect:

• Teens explore identity and independence
• They may experience mood swings and strong emotions

How Trauma Can Affect This Stage:

• Risky behaviors or self-harm
• Anxiety, depression, or isolation
• Difficulty trusting others

How Parents Can Help:

• Keep communication open and nonjudgmental
• Respect their need for privacy while staying connected
• Encourage healthy coping strategies and seek professional help if needed (check out how Kelly can help!)

💡 Final Tips for Parents:

• Trauma isn’t always obvious. Big changes (like divorce, loss, or illness) can deeply affect children.
• Your support matters. A loving, stable relationship with a caregiver is one of the strongest protective factors.
• Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Therapists, counselors, and pediatricians can guide you through tough times. Here at Connected Counseling (located in Carmel, IN), we pride ourselves in helping parents connect to the heart of their children. Whichever stage of development they are in, we have guidance and support for you. Reach out to learn more!